Taking care of a parent isn’t just about love—it’s about logistics. Whether you’ve been caregiving for years or are just stepping into this role, the reality hits fast: medication schedules, doctor appointments, financial decisions, and legal paperwork. You want to do right by your parent—but where do you even begin?
As a San Diego elder lawyer, I’ve walked alongside many families navigating this transition. Here’s what you need to know now, before the paperwork piles up or a crisis hits.
Start with an honest conversation
Before assuming the role of caregiver, talk with your parent. Ask about their wishes, their needs, and their current plans (if any). This includes everything from how they want to be cared for to what resources they have available.
And if they don’t want to talk? Start gently. Say something like: “I want to help you in the way you want. Can we talk about what that would look like?” Opening this dialogue early creates a foundation of trust and understanding that will benefit both of you throughout the caregiving journey.
In talking about caregiving issues, using story questions can often keep a parent from feeling cross-examined and can help them look at issues they have not wanted to face. Here are a few useful conversation kickstarters:
Tell me about …
How do you think this will work?
How can I help you with bill pay/ getting to Doctor’s Appointments?
How can I make it easier for you at the house?
Moving forward, what kind of …
Which activities are getting harder for you?
What tasks do you want to delegate?
Could you describe for me …
Could you draw me a map of …
What would you do…
If you got sick or had an accident,
What would you want me to do when or if …
These open-ended questions can help facilitate conversation and clarity.
Make sure the right legal documents are in place
This part is crucial. Without the proper legal authority, you could run into serious issues when trying to make healthcare or financial decisions.
Here’s what your parent should have (and review regularly):
- Durable Power of Attorney for finances
- Advance Directive to outline healthcare decisions
- HIPAA Release so doctors can speak with you
- A will or trust to clarify what happens later
As a San Diego elder lawyer, I can’t emphasize this enough: these documents protect both of you. Without them, you may find yourself in court seeking to establish a conservatorship, which is a costly, time-consuming process that can be avoided with proper planning.
Understand the long-term care landscape
Will your parent need help at home, in an assisted living community, or in a nursing facility? Each option comes with different costs and rules. Knowing what’s available—and what’s covered by insurance or Medi-Cal—is key.
A good elder lawyer can help you understand how to qualify for Medi-Cal if needed, what assets are protected versus countable, and how to plan ahead for care expenses. This knowledge can make the difference between preserving your parent’s life savings and depleting it unnecessarily.
Know that caregiving is a job, and you need support
Whether you live with your parent or check in weekly, caregiving is emotionally and physically taxing. It’s okay to ask for help. Look into local respite care, adult day programs, and support groups for family caregivers.
This isn’t selfish—it’s sustainable. By taking care of yourself, you ensure you can continue providing quality care for your loved one. Many caregivers neglect their own health, relationships, and finances, leading to burnout that ultimately affects both them and their parent.
Protect your parent’s dignity and your peace of mind
When you step into the caregiver role, you’re not just helping with tasks, but you’re safeguarding your parent’s legacy. By partnering with a knowledgeable San Diego elder lawyer, you’ll gain clarity on legal, financial, and emotional fronts, so you can focus on what matters most: being there.
Let’s Plan Together
You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re becoming a caregiver—or already are one—this is your sign to make sure the right plans are in place. Let’s make this journey easier, together. Contact us at 619-281-1888 and we’ll walk you through your options to ensure everyone is taken care of for maximum protection and peace of mind.